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savage, fierce and toothless

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VOICEOVER:
Horrible Histories presents:

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History is filled with brilliant
brains who've changed our lives

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with their amazing ideas,
theories and inventions.

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And my Victorian age
was stuffed with them.

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Charles Dickens transformed writing.
I love his stuff.

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Florence Nightingale
basically created modern nursing.

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You're welcome.

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And Charles Darwin
revolutionised scientific theory.

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Two of them also had
great facial hair.

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Not all of our Victorian brainboxes'
ideas were winners, though.

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Polish eye doctor L.L. Zamenhof,
for example,

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thought he'd invented a way
of bringing about world peace.

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Spoiler alert - he hadn't.

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(CLEARS THROAT) Friends.

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You represent
the great countries of the world.

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And I believe that I have the answer
for creating world peace.

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Really, Dr Zamenhof? (LAUGHS)

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How is an unknown Polish eye doctor

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going to come up with a plan
for world peace?

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We all speak different languages.

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Half of the group can't understand
what you're saying.

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See?

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There's the answer.

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I believe that the world's problems
are down to poor communication.

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So I've come up with a new language.

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It's simple and easy to learn
and will become the language

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of international communication.

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Let me tell you a little bit
about it.

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to prevent war

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that language is the solution

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that I created in Poland

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keep the conversation flowing

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that will only keep on growing

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to unite the people

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that'll make us equal

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in a way that's peaceful

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There's no crazy grammar

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everyone can understand, yeah?

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I wouldn't want to offend

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and sticking an O on the end

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Everyone here can do it

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that I created in Poland

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keep the conversation flowing

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that will only keep on growing

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to unite the people

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that'll make us equal

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in a way that's peaceful

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Any questions?

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I wonder if rat is 'rato'
in Esperanto.

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I guess we'll never know...o.

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(LAUGHS)

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Welcome to our look
at some brilliant historical brains.

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And here to help us out is someone
who seems to know everything.

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It's actual Chaser
The Beast, Mark Labbett.

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Hello, Mark.
Hello, Rattus.

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Let's test
your brainiac credentials, then.

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When was the Battle of Hastings?
1066.

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Ooh! You ARE good.

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What's the biggest organ
in the human body?

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The skin.
Speedy!

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Who is the next sketch about?

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What?!

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How am I supposed to know that?
(BUZZER)

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Oh! Bad luck, Mark.
No.

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Hang on.
How was I supposed to know that?

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You never told me!
Alright, mate!

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Don't go on about it.
No-one likes a sore loser.

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The answer is John Wilkins.

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In the 17th century, he
was a member of the Royal Society,

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a place where the brainboxes
of the time went to swap ideas.

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And it was there that
Wilkins presented an amazing idea

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that we still use today,

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just not quite in the same way
he thought we would.

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What's the capital of Ecuador?
I'm not playing anymore.

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(SIGHS)
But it's Quito.

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(GASPS) Nice!

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And so,
I am delighted to present to you,

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fellow members of the Royal Society,

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my design for a submarine ark.

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MAN: Ooh!

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JOHN: A boat that travels
under the water.

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Ooh!
(LAUGHS)

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Now, this ark, or "submarine boat",
could change everything.

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Imagine a vessel that could travel
to any coast in the world

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completely undetected.

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Ooh!

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It won't be affected by the tides
OR threatened by the ice

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when crossing under the poles.

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Cool.

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There's just one problem,

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which may mean
this boat can never be built.

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I refer, of course,
to how you deal with...

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..when you need to go.

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Go where?

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I know. On a voyage.

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Oh!
JOHN: No, no, no, no, no, no.

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I'm talking about the toilet.

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The little dolphins' room.

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What do you do with the doo-doo?

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Oh. The poo.

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I'm not sure we need the diagram.

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JOHN: I disagree.

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Imagine you're in a submarine
and you're having a poo.

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Are you imagining it?

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Yes, I think I've...got it.

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Good.
Now, what do you do with the poo?

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Throw it out the window? (LAUGHS)
No, well, you'll be under the sea.

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Water would flood in
and sink the boat.

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True, but...

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..I have the answer.

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What is it?

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It's a poo-collecting bag.

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It would be attached
to a hole in the submarine.

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You simply pop your poop inside,
close it up at one end,

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release the other

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and hey presto - away goes the poo.

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Poo aside, Wilkins, I believe

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you've actually invented
some kind of airlock.

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This could be revolutionary.
I know, right?

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Super-pooper. (SIGHS)
WOMAN: No, no, no.

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But you could use the same system
to stock up with food and fuel

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without ever
having to come to the surface.

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Yes - a boat
could lower them in from above

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and you could take them in
through the hole!

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This isn't just for poos.
This could be used for everything.

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No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, right?

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It's just a poo bag,

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for getting rid of poo.

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Do you want a demonstration?

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It's really simple.
Look, you hold the bag out, right?

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Oh, absolutely not!
Oh!

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Look, Wilkins,
this submarine is a triumph,

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but your poo bags stink.

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Alright, fine.

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But in the future,
if you're ever in a submarine boat

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and you feel a poo coming on,
don't come crying to me!

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(FLATULENCE)
Ooh! Ooh.

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I, um, had a big lunch.

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Oh, it's...just reached me.
Oh!

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VOICEOVER: Head teacher Ruth Thomas
is looking for a new physics teacher

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after Miss Evan's shoelaces
got caught in Class 9F's rocket

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and she suddenly relocated
to Norfolk.

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Welcome to Historical Educating.

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I'm quite excited
about our new supply teacher.

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He was
such an important scientific figure

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that he has more things named
after him than almost anyone else.

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Humboldt Mountains. Humboldt Park.

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Humboldt City.

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Then there's even a part of the moon
called Mare Humboldtianum.

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Yeah.

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VOICEOVER: Class 7F's new teacher
is Alexander von Humboldt.

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Morgen.

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KIDS: Good morning,
Mr Alexander von Humboldt.

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Now, hands up who wants to help me
with a scientific experiment.

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Me! Me!
Yeah. Toby.

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(CRACKLING)
Ow!

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Very interesting.
Who else would like to help?

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No.
OK.

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TOBY: Mr von Humboldt

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experiments with animals
and electricity,

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which doesn't seem right,

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because that's what Stephen Wilkins
in 7P got excluded for.

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Here we have

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a beautiful dead bird - ja?

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Well, who here wants to see if we can

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bring this birdie back to life
with some electricity?

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Yeah!

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Let's do this!
(CRACKLING AND POPPING)

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Well, that didn't work.

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RUTH: He's such a science legend.

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In fact, there's over 100 animals
named after him,

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like the Humboldt squid. (LAUGHS)

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Sir, that doesn't look very safe.

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(LAUGHS) Don't worry.
I've done this test before.

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Sticking wire up your bottom

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is a perfectly valid
scientific test.

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Nothing can happen to me

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unless someone switches on the light.

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Mr von Humboldt,
what do you think you're doing?!

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ALL: No!

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(CRACKLING)
(SCREAMS)

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Wow!
How would you say that went?

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Pretty good.

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Look, I don't know
what the fuss is about.

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Thanks to my experiment, we now know

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that electrocuting yourself
through the bottom

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leads to nausea, cramps,

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and it makes you do
a little bit of wee.

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You're fired, Mr von Humboldt.

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You know the way out.

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I actually DON'T know the way out.

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(BREAKS WIND) Oh!

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Excuse me. I seem to have retained
a little charge in my buttocks.

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Fascinating. (BREAKS WIND) Ow!
(CRACKLING)

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Ever been tempted
to see what happens

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if you attach electrodes
to YOUR bum, Mark?

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What?! No! Of course not.

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(CRACKLING)
Ugh!

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Oh! (COUGHS)

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No. Me neither.

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I can smell burning fur.

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At least you can't FEEL it.

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Anyways, it's no surprise that
some of history's biggest brains

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have tried to tackle
history's biggest challenges,

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like how to help win wars
and how to save lives.

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Marie Curie tried to do both.

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What do you know about her, Mark?

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She was a brilliant
Polish-French physicist

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who did pioneering work
with radioactivity.

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Correct.

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And during the First World War,

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she used her knowledge about X-rays

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to try and help soldiers
on the front line.

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(CRACKLING)
Yee! Whoa! Whoa.

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(PANTS)
Do you need to sit down?

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I don't think I'll be sitting down
for some time, Mark.

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(SIGHS)

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What's up?

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Marie Curie here -
scientist, brainbox

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and winner of two Nobel prizes.

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Count them!

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The science institute
where I teach has shut

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because all the men have been
called up into the French army

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to fight against Germany
in this Great War.

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I really want to help them,

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so I am sending...

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..X-ray machines to the battlefields,

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where doctors can use them
to check for broken bones...

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00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,360
(CRACKING)
(SCREAMING)

271
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,760
..bits of metal
in the wounded soldiers.

272
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:54,080
(GROANING)
Let's go save some lives!

273
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,240
(STRAINS)

274
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,080
Oh, that is very heavy. (LAUGHS)
Hashtag...

275
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,040
(STRAINS)

276
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,040
(BREAKS WIND) Oh.

277
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,840
OK. Pas de probleme.

278
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,680
That's French for...'sorted'!

279
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:11,080
I have simply adapted both
the X-ray machines and the ambulance

280
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,760
to serve our purpose!

281
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:14,960
Whoo-hoo!

282
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,280
(ENGINE STARTS)
Let's go!

283
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,560
(HORN HONKS)

284
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:19,560
(COLLISION)

285
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,480
(PANTS) Hashtag...

286
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,200
Whoops.

287
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,880
OK. Problem solved.

288
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,760
My 17-year-old daughter, Irene,

289
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:34,160
can do the driving
while I am learning.

290
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,920
Pedal to the metal, Irene!

291
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:36,920
(ENGINE STARTS)

292
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,720
Come on!
(HORN HONKS)

293
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,120
(COLLISION)

294
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,960
(PANTS)

295
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:44,960
Hashtag...

296
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:52,440
OK. We have made it to the front line
and we are ready to go to work!

297
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,320
Uh, Lieutenant, if you can just...

298
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,040
(CRACKLING)
Erm...

299
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,520
No. OK.

300
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,520
Uh, if it's just, uh... OK.

301
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,440
So...I have only
really taught about X-rays,

302
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,880
I haven't really
used the machines before, as such.

303
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,280
(SCREAMING)

304
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:10,560
(LAUGHS) Hashtag...

305
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,040
Hashtag...

306
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,000
Well, everything
has settled down a bit.

307
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,680
And I have organised
200 battlefield X-ray units

308
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:27,160
and 20 of these
mobile X-ray ambulances.

309
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:30,160
They've even called them
Little Curies, after me.

310
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,200
So cute!

311
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,720
So I think I can say
I have done my bit.

312
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,320
Au revoir! Come on.

313
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,960
(ENGINE STARTS)
Little Curie away!

314
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,120
(HORN HONKS)

315
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:41,640
(COLLISION)

316
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:42,640
Hashtag...

317
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,200
Well, Dr Skinner, we're hoping
you've come up with something

318
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,160
that will help us
to defeat the Nazis.

319
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,640
Gentlemen, I believe I have.

320
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,280
A massive advance
in missile accuracy.

321
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:02,560
Piloted missiles.
Piloted?

322
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:03,880
But who would be stupid enough

323
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,080
to pilot a missile
that was gonna explode?

324
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,960
(COOING)

325
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,280
Gentlemen, meet your new pilot.

326
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,680
(PIGEON COOS)

327
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,680
You want a pigeon to fly the bomb?

328
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:20,840
Of course not!

329
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,960
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)

330
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,040
I want THREE pigeons to fly the bomb.

331
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,600
Gentlemen, each pigeon,

332
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:29,320
harnessed inside the missile,
has been trained

333
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,400
to peck at the target
when they see it.

334
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,760
This pecking transmits a signal,
via the bird's beak,

335
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,280
which controls the bomb's tail fins

336
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,800
and directs it towards the target!

337
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,600
"Oh, nein!

338
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,480
"You've destroyed my Nazi battleship!

339
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,000
"Who would have suspected a pigeon?!

340
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,000
"Oh, somebody give Skinner
a promotion."

341
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:53,640
Are we being pranked? Do you want us
to entrust the war to...to birds?

342
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,760
These are no ordinary birds, sir.
(PIGEON COOS)

343
00:13:55,760 --> 00:14:00,000
My pigeons are graduates
of the Skinner school of aviation.

344
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,400
You created a flying school
for pigeons?

345
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,880
Well, they're...they're not gonna
train themselves, are they? (LAUGHS)

346
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,880
Who is this guy? (LAUGHS)

347
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,600
Let me show you
something. (LAUGHS)

348
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:09,760
(FIRES GUN REPEATEDLY)
Whoa!

349
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,160
What are you doing?!

350
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,560
A demonstration, sir!

351
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:16,480
Each pigeon has been trained
to ignore the distractions of war.

352
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,480
Huh?

353
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:18,880
(SHUTTER CLICKS)
Ow! My eyes!

354
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,680
Ah! My eyes!

355
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,200
(PIGEON COOS)
See? It didn't even flinch.

356
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,560
Thank you, Dr Skinner.

357
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:25,680
We have heard enough.

358
00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:29,120
I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but it's a terrible idea.

359
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,160
I'm sure
implementing your pigeon plan

360
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,120
would have been a real...COUP.

361
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,880
And I don't want you
to get in a FLAP...

362
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:35,880
(PIGEON COOS AND FLAPS)

363
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:41,440
..but it's time for you
and your pigeons to TAKE OFF.

364
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,640
Hey. Where did that pigeon go?

365
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,200
(FLATULENCE)

366
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,880
(PIGEON COOS)

367
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,400
I told you they were trained
to hit enemy targets.

368
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,080
OK. So not all wartime ideas
were winners.

369
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:59,680
You know, Mark, some people say
pigeons are like rats with wings.

370
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,320
Talk about a compliment!

371
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,360
I'd make a great pigeon.

372
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,880
(CLEARS THROAT)

373
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,480
(COOS)

374
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,880
Let's move on
to a brilliant wartime brain

375
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:14,040
who really did change all our lives.

376
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,480
Alan Turing.
Oh, good call!

377
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,800
He helped crack an
unbreakable Nazi code in World War II

378
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,360
and turned the tide of the war.

379
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:26,920
However, not everything
this genius did was quite as clever.

380
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,840
(COOS)

381
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:30,880
You know... (LAUGHS)

382
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,400
..I didn't expect Alan Turing,

383
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,920
one of the geniuses
who cracked the secret Nazi code,

384
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,400
a top computing wizard,

385
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,760
to be quite so...eccentric.

386
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,040
What do you mean, eccentric?

387
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:45,160
Well, at work, you keep your mug

388
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,200
chained to a radiator.

389
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,520
That's not eccentric. That's clever.

390
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,720
It means I know
exactly where my mug is at all times.

391
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,120
And you hold your trousers up
with string.

392
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,160
Yeah, well, of course I do!

393
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,880
They fall down without it.

394
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:01,320
One time, I saw you cycle to work
wearing a gasmask.

395
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,080
Well, that's to stop me
getting hay fever.

396
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,080
And it works.

397
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,400
Then there's the fact
you've got us

398
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,600
pushing an empty baby buggy
around the woods.

399
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,600
I've got to put the treasure in
something when I find it, haven't I?

400
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:13,880
Treasure?
Yes.

401
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,480
You see, back in 1940, I discovered

402
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,320
that silver would be worth more
after the war.

403
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:20,400
OK.

404
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,560
Now, so I took my life savings
and converted them

405
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,080
into two heavy silver ingots.

406
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,280
Now, that IS clever.

407
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,480
I then came into the woods,
buried the silver, and now...

408
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,240
..we are going to dig it up again.
(SIGHS)

409
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,320
And you remember,
where you buried it?

410
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,880
That's the cleverest part.

411
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,880
I don't need to.

412
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,080
I designed a code
to tell me where the treasure is.

413
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,520
And it's so devilishly difficult

414
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:45,720
that only I can crack it.

415
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,480
All I need to do is solve the code

416
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,400
and we'll know
where the silver's buried.

417
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,800
Well? What does the code say?

418
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,760
Erm...

419
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,040
..just a minute.

420
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,880
You can't crack the code, can you?

421
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:01,880
Of course I can!

422
00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:03,840
I've cracked some of
the most fiendish codes ever created!

423
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,440
What, you really think
I can't crack my own code?!

424
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,520
Alright, fine!

425
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:09,920
I haven't a clue!

426
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:13,920
Curse past me
for being cleverer than future me!

427
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,880
Let's hire a metal detector.
No.

428
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:19,560
I remember...it was by a big tree.

429
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,680
(BIRD CALLS)

430
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,520
Would you like me
to get that metal detector?

431
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:30,760
Yes, please. Yep.

432
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,080
And a belt.
Yeah.

433
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,160
Ni hao. Confucius here.

434
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,920
Teacher, philosopher,

435
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,840
writer of nifty sayings, such as,

436
00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:46,400
"When the wind blows,
the grass bends."

437
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,160
(BREAKS WIND)

438
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,600
But what you may not know
is I also turned my mind to

439
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,840
the serious subject of food.

440
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,480
I had some very strong views, such as

441
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,640
you should always eat meat

442
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,040
with its proper sauce.

443
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:05,960
And, of course,

444
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,120
I hate peaches!

445
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,400
No! Seriously! (GAGS)

446
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,160
Say no to peaches!

447
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,040
Down with peaches!
(THUNDER CRASHES)

448
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:16,800
Oh, no, wait. It's a plum.

449
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,280
Panic over.

450
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:21,280
SONG:

451
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:27,200
Hi. I'm Buzz Aldrin,
and I walked on the moon.

452
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,880
That wouldn't have been possible
without brainboxes studying the stars

453
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,120
and working out how to get me there.

454
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:35,120
As far back
as the ancient Greek times,

455
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,120
people were staring up at the heavens

456
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,720
and trying to understand
how space might work,

457
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,000
although the people around them
at the time

458
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,240
weren't always ready
to understand their genius.

459
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,520
(BREAKS WIND) Eugh!

460
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,360
I wish they'd also thought of a way
of letting THOSE out of a spacesuit.

461
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:52,440
(OWL HOOTS)

462
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,680
Attention, people of Thessaly.

463
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,480
I, Aglaonice,
have been studying the moon

464
00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:00,160
as I help develop
a science called astronomy.

465
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:03,320
Astrono what now?
The science of the stars.

466
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,600
And today, I'm able to give you
the perfect example

467
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,880
of the uses of this science.

468
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,880
Yay!
Can you juggle?

469
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,960
There was a juggler last week.
Oh, he was great.

470
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,200
Top-class entertainer.
Yeah.

471
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,880
N...no. No. (LAUGHS)

472
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,120
But this is much more exciting
than juggling.

473
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:22,080
Using astronomy, I can predict
when there will be a full moon,

474
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,680
and I can predict a lunar eclipse.

475
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:28,040
What? Like when the moon disappears
or changes colour? (LAUGHS)

476
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,320
Sure you can.
(LAUGHTER)

477
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,800
I predict that there will be
a lunar eclipse right...

478
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:33,840
..now.

479
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,720
(GASPING AND MOANING)

480
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:36,920
Oh!

481
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,520
Uh-hee!

482
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,640
See? Astronomy IS pretty cool, right?

483
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,520
She's changed the moon!

484
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,120
AGLAONICE: What?

485
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,120
No! I just told you
WHEN it would change.

486
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,440
It's gonna be back to normal
in a second.

487
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,160
(WOMAN GASPS)
AGLAONICE: See?

488
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:52,480
(SCREAMING)

489
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,000
She's a moon witch!

490
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,200
What?!
Oh, please!

491
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,680
Don't use
your moon witch powers

492
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:57,680
against us!

493
00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,040
I'm not a witch.
I just love astronomy.

494
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,320
And I'm, like, really clever.

495
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,840
You wouldn't act like this
if I was a man.

496
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,480
That's exactly
what a moon witch WOULD say!

497
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:06,480
(MOANING)

498
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,800
Please do not hurt us,
oh, moon witch!

499
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:10,880
Look. Let me explain.

500
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,080
(SCREAMS) Her face has gone!
(MOANING)

501
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,200
She's gone and vanished it
with her moon witchy powers.

502
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,400
What?!
No! Her face is back!

503
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,400
It was gone! Now it's back! She can
make her face go and come at will.

504
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,840
MAN 2: Right. Come on, guys.
This is silly.

505
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,920
Stop worrying about moon powers.

506
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,200
Thank you!

507
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,560
If we worship her,

508
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:33,440
she may use her powers for good.

509
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,000
I'm not a moon witch!
CROWD: Whoa!

510
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:39,560
I'm just an astronomer who's devoted
years to understanding the stars!

511
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,360
We have angered her!
MAN 2: Beware her wrath!

512
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,200
Please,
tell us about your astronomy,

513
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,600
if it will so please you,

514
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:45,600
oh, moon witch.

515
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,040
Tell us your boring information.

516
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,000
OK. It's quite simple, really.

517
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,920
The moon, it goes through several
of what we call phases,

518
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,600
starting with the new moon
and then the first quarter.

519
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,440
(YAWNS)
And then, um...

520
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,440
Shall we see if that juggler's on
somewhere else?

521
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,440
All of which I control
with my moony witchy powers.

522
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,640
(SCREAMING)
I knew it!

523
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,040
She's gonna turn us all
into moon frogs!

524
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,960
At least they're listening, I guess.
(MOANING)

525
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,440
(VIDEO GAME SOUND EFFECTS PLAY)

526
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:17,760
(US ACCENT) Hi.

527
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,240
I'm Katherine Johnson,

528
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,560
and my marvellous mind helped me
graduate from college

529
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,800
with degrees in math and French

530
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,800
at just 18 years old.

531
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,280
Mm-hm, mm-hm!

532
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,640
I believe that mathematics
is out of this world,

533
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:33,480
which is why I joined
the American space agency NASA.

534
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,520
I worked on the mathematics
of space flight

535
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,640
and helped NASA to launch a rocket
to orbit the Earth

536
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:41,960
and then land on the moon.

537
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,720
I was so good at math,

538
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,960
the astronaut John Glenn said
my mind was smarter than a computer.

539
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,840
Before his 1962 mission
to orbit the Earth,

540
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,000
he refused to fly
until I had personally double-checked

541
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,080
the computer's calculations.

542
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,080
Although... (SIGHS)

543
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,400
..if I am
really smarter than a computer...

544
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,480
(VIDEO GAME SOUND EFFECTS PLAY)

545
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,160
..how come I can never win this game?

546
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,480
(VIDEO GAME SOUND EFFECTS PLAY)

547
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:05,880
Oh!

548
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,880
Just five more minutes, then
I will definitely get back to work.

549
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:09,960
(VIDEO GAME SOUND EFFECTS PLAY)

550
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,400
Probably.

551
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,800
VOICE: Game over.
Oh! Damn!

552
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:15,800
SONG:

553
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:18,600
SONG:

554
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,880


555
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:23,040

with a bucket so that you can

556
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,960


557
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,600


558
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,400


559
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:30,880


560
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,720


561
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,840


562
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,640


563
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,160
VOICEOVER: Please welcome
today's historical figure

564
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:40,880
who really needs the loo,

565
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,440
Ada Lovelace!

566
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,600
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(BREAKS WIND)

567
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,640
Greetings, friend.
(LAUGHTER)

568
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,200
Oh! What is this?

569
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,840
Are you Ada Lovelace,

570
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,760
the super-brainy 19th-century
writer and mathematician?

571
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:55,760
Well, yes, but, um...

572
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,320
Then I...

573
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,920
..am Loo Man.

574
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,600
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

575
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,720
I'm sorry, I was
under the impression that this was

576
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,880
the little mathematicians' room.
(BREAKS WIND)

577
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,280
I really, really
need to... (BREAKS WIND)

578
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,240
Ada Lovelace, you have,

579
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,600
via means we do not
need to go into right now,

580
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:13,280
travelled through time
from the 19th century

581
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:17,240
to use
my first-rate toilet facilities.

582
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,320
(LAUGHTER)
Oh, marvellous. Where are they?

583
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,880
Well, that's them.
(INSECTS BUZZ)

584
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,840
People are usually
quite impressed by them.

585
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,240
Really?
(LAUGHTER)

586
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:26,600
Answer questions one and two
and I'll let you do a...

587
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,760
AUDIENCE: Poo!

588
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,880
It's Plop Quiz time.
(FLATULENCE)

589
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,080
What?!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

590
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:33,480
Mathematician Ada Lovelace.

591
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,040
You must answer
two questions about your life

592
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,040
before you may work out
your pressing logarithm.

593
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:40,400
(LAUGHTER)
Fine. Just get on with it!

594
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,120
(BREAKS WIND)
Question number one.

595
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:44,080
What is your weirdest secret?

596
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,080
Well...

597
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,560
..when I was a teenager,
I developed an irrational fear of...

598
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,440
(BREAKS WIND) ..beds,
and so I slept on the floor.

599
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,520
(BREAKS WIND)
That is pretty weird.

600
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,160
Question number two.
(LAUGHTER)

601
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,600
Tell us a little-known fact
about you, Ada Lovelace.

602
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,120
Well, I...I worked with my friend
the inventor...

603
00:23:58,120 --> 00:23:59,560
(BREAKS WIND) ..Charles Babbage.

604
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,880
Uh, I described how he could program
his computational machine

605
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,480
to solve complex calculations.
(BREAKS WIND)

606
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,840
Charles Babbage is remembered
as the inventor of something

607
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,160
called a...computer.

608
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:10,200
(LAUGHTER)

609
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,720
And you're remembered as one
of the first computer programmers.

610
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:16,800
Yes, that's right! I've...I've
done your questions. Now, gangway!

611
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,200
You may pass.
Oh!

612
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:22,680
Join us next time, when I'll be
stopping more historical celebs...

613
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:23,680
(BREAKS WIND) Ahh!

614
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,280
..from doing a poo
to ask questions...

615
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:26,880
(BREAKS WIND)
..just for you.

616
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:29,080
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
(BREAKS WIND)

617
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,680
Your ones and twos
are really adding up there, Ada.

618
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,800
(LAUGHTER)

619
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,520
Strange guy, Loo Man.

620
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,160
We've got something in common,
you know.

621
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,200
Is it the smell?

622
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,080
No! We both look good in a cape.

623
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,200
What do you mean, the smell?

624
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,640
Charming!
Well, you do live in the sewer.

625
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:46,640
Mmm. That's fair.

626
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,720
Well, we've come to the end,
and I suppose the best advice

627
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,240
if you want to be a brilliant brain
like that lot

628
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,560
is to try your best.

629
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,560
Be creative. Think OUTSIDE the box.

630
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,200
And be as unusual as you like.

631
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,480
This lady certainly did that.

632
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,120
12th-century German nun
Hildegarde of Bingen

633
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:08,720
was a brainy pioneer
who did a bit of everything.

634
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,280
She's like NUN other, Mark.

635
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,760
(DRUM AND CYMBAL STING PLAYS)
You know, 'cause she...she's a nun.

636
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,080
That's a terrible joke.

637
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:16,400
Don't make a HABIT of it.

638
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,320
(DRUM AND CYMBAL STING PLAYS)
(LAUGHS)

639
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:19,880
(UPBEAT MUSIC)

640
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,400


641
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,640


642
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,960


643
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,600


644
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,120


645
00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:40,320


646
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:43,240


647
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,440


648
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:46,440
(COUGHS)

649
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,720

and the sick need meds to cure them

650
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,040


651
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,920

round the vuh-huh-horld

652
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,240


653
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,320


654
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,120


655
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,120


656
00:26:05,120 --> 00:26:07,120


657
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,440

Ooh

658
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,760


659
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:16,320


660
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,720


661
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:21,560


662
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:25,480


663
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:28,520
(FLATULENCE)

664
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:30,920
What dog?

665
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,720


666
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,480


667
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,720


668
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,240


669
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,840

and the natural world astounds me

670
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,480

all that surrounds me...

671
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:49,920
Wrote nine volumes!

672
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:53,480


673
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,280

Ooh

674
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,480


675
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:03,600

but I've got knowledge too

676
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,560



677
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,720



678
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:15,320

I can show you a better vay"

679
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:16,520


680
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,800


681
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:22,000


682
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,680


683
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,360


684
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:28,000


685
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,120


686
00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:32,560


687
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,680


688
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,120


689
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,320
I, Aglao...

690
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,320
I've forgotten my name.
(LAUGHTER)

691
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:48,520
What you do with...

692
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,760
OK. That's more difficult
than it looks.

693
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,320
And helped NASA to launch
a rocket to the orbid...

694
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:54,320
(LAUGHTER)

695
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,120
SONG:
is no longer a mystery

696
00:27:57,120 --> 00:27:58,720


697
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,720


698
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:03,920
Captions by Red Bee Media